A Few Good Managers
From the movie A Few Good Men...
Development: "You want answers?"
Marketing: "I think we are entitled to them!"
Development: "You want answers?!"
Marketing: "I want the truth!"
Development: "You can't handle the truth!!!
Son, we live in a world that requires software. And that software must be built by people with elite skills. Who's going to build it? You, Mr. Marketing? You, Mr. Sales? You, Mr. Finance? You, Mr. Human Resources? I don’t think so.
We have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You scoff at our open work areas and you curse our big screen monitors. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what we know - that while the cost of delivering software may be excessive, it drives revenue and saves money. And my very existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, drives BUSINESS!
You don't want to know the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at staff meetings... you want me managing the project. You NEED me managing the project!
We use words like refactoring, test-driven development, continuous integration, sprint, velocity, and release planning. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent delivering something. You use them as a punch line!
I have neither the time nor inclination to explain myself to people who rise and sleep under the very blanket of software I provide and then question the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise I suggest you log in to a computer and write some code. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to!"
Marketing: "Did you cut the automated, edit sync [insert favorite feature here] feature?"
Development: "I did the job I was hired to do."
Marketing: "Did you cut the automated, edit sync feature?"
Development: "I delivered the release on time."
Marketing: "Did you cut the automated, edit sync feature?"
Development: "You're g%$#@*& right I did!"
Beautiful.
Posted by: David Leston | Thursday, March 08, 2007 at 11:37 PM
LoL thats incredible !!! =)
Bookmarked for all my life and works :P
Cheers
Posted by: Marcos | Sunday, March 11, 2007 at 01:30 AM
Why so aggressive towards marketing. Do you really think that will improve the situation? I find that talking with people and trying to understand different perspectives and our mutual roles in the system leads us a lot farther. You might want to look into systems theory and systems dynamics
Posted by: Martine Devos | Wednesday, March 14, 2007 at 03:52 AM
Beautiful.... just beautiful. I shed a tear of joy reading this, knowing there are others standing on the bulwark that separates us from the rabble.
Posted by: Iain | Thursday, March 15, 2007 at 02:39 PM
Great rewrite, but so sad that the original great rant is delivered by a character that was a criminal, who ended up getting convicted.
Otherwise, hilarious. Good job.
Posted by: Bob Evans | Sunday, April 15, 2007 at 06:17 PM
Classic! Take blogging to new artistic heights!
Posted by: David Anderson | Thursday, May 24, 2007 at 04:50 PM
Agreed with the comment about the speech coming from a criminal.
But the crime would never happen in an agile project, would it?
Posted by: Pat Morrison | Monday, October 01, 2007 at 06:07 PM
As a QA Analyst, feedback is your "core function". Communication is usually your first job. Whether you’re new to a position or you just want to try something new, you’re going to have to talk to your coworkers and your customers. Most importantly, you need to listen.
André Vondran
SQA Analyst
www.aqasol.com.ar
Posted by: André Vondran | Monday, January 21, 2008 at 12:40 PM